In Search of a Queen

"In Search of a Queen"

In 138 days the Jailbait Queen of Hollywood becomes dethroned. November 23^rd, 2010 is a date that will live in infamy. It’s when Destiny Hope Cryus, also known as Miley, turns eighteen. While many men around the world will rejoice on this day, I will simply hang my head, because for this guy SOME of her luster will be lost.

There is no denying that right now Miley is the Jailbait Queen. She is an established teen idol through her hit Disney Channel show “Hannah Montana”, in which she plays lead character Miley Stewart by day and pop singer Hannah Montana by night (such a stretch from her normal life) She has been included in Time Magazine’s Top 100 Most Influential People in the World list. Parade magazine stated that she is the richest teen celebrity, with her franchise totaling over a billion dollars. She’s been involved in racy photo controversies, given guys lap dances, and recently released a very provocative video. She has also appeared at the Academy Awards, released a more “serious” movie (The Last Song) and a new album “Can’t Be Tamed”. It’s easy to see that she dominates over the other artists in her age range, even if she isn’t as talented as them.

But when she turns the big eighteen, who is going to be left to take her place. Who will we look at with inappropriate thoughts based on her age? Who will we laugh about over beers on a Friday night? Miley getting older is taken these things away from us. Sure she’ll still be in trouble, but honestly it’s not as much fun without the thrill of doing something illegal. Hell, that’s why drinking in high school was so cool.

I’m here today to offer a list of some candidates to fill the stiletto heels of Ms. Miley. Although the list isn’t full of can’t misses it’s bound to contain the next underage nudity scandal on Prez Hilton, that I promise you.

First up, we have the lovely Taylor Momsen. She is best known for playing Cindy Lou Who, in the Jim Carey live action remake of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. She filmed that role, however, when she was only seven years old. Now, nearly ten years later and Taylor is emerging as the front-runner in the “Search for a Jailbait Queen” sweepstakes.

Currently, Taylor is playing Jenny Humhrey on the CW’s Gossip Girl, based on the teen book series of the same name. Jenny is a little blonde haired bitch that is trying to be queen bee of her high school, sell drugs with her dealer boyfriend, and try to bang her stepsister’s boyfriend. Gossip Girl is a hot mess, but it does one thing right, it puts this girl in the forefront of my television set every Monday, along with Blake Lively’s boobs...but that’s another story.

Taylor also is the lead singer of the band “The Pretty Reckless”. The band is currently playing on the Van’s Warped Tour and has just signed a deal to Interscope Records. While performing with the band Taylor wears nothing more then lingerie. Further adding to her likeness of Miley, whos outfits over the past few tour dates have drawn media criticism.

And just for shits and giggles Time Magazine listed Taylor as one of their Most Beautiful People of the Year. The girl is only sixteen, it’s clear that she’s going places.

Overall, Taylor cannot top the power that is Miley. She is certainly racy enough, judging by the pictures provided. She also, like Miley, is a singer but the thing that she lacks is the drive to the next level. Miley was shot there, out of a cannon that was named Disney. Taylor doesn’t have that kind of backing, and probably never will. If she’s going to reach international attention, or Hollywood media whore she’s going to need to work a little harder. Miley has her beat in both regards.

Plus, not only does she have Miley to look up to, she has someone breathing down her neck challenging her for Jailbait Queen of the Future. You might have guessed it, you might be surprised but on the pecking order Dakota Fanning stands at second. That’s right Special Ed, she’s second!

Dakota Fanning is hands down the best actress on this list, she even chumps up Miley in that regard. As Special Ed pointed out to me, Dakota stands toe to toe with Jeff Spiccoli in “I Am Sam”, that isn’t an easy task to perform. For that role she became the youngest person to ever be nominated for a Screen Actors Guild Award. I don’t care who you are, or where you come from it takes some chops to do something like that.

Fanning however, somewhere along the path to next Jailbait Queen, took a wrong turn and ended up in “The Secret Life of Bees” with this shit head, and that shit head, and this person who wouldn’t hire Special Ed. She also ended up in "War of the Worlds" with the biggest shit head ever. She did some damage control rather recently though, landing herself in "Charlotte’s Web", which I think everyone had to read at some point, and then being cast as the voice of Coraline in the movie of same name. Not to mention her appearances in the latest two Twilight movies: "New Moon" and "Eclipse", where she plays Volturi member, Jane.

If I’m judging this straight off of acting talent then Fanning wins. She was the youngest member to ever join the Academy of Motion Picture Art and Sciences, and was listed by Forbes as the fourth highest earning star under twenty one. If this is the only criterion then Fanning takes the crown in a landslide, however it’s not.

Where is Dakota Fanning’s racy photo shoot? Or shitty camera phone pics to her boyfriend? They are nonexistent, which kind of pisses me off. If this girl is going to be making the media rounds then why isn’t some hacker trying his hardest to find these for us, the American people? I think that’s selfish, hackers, get out there and do your freaking job.

While Fanning is hot, and while she is a great young actress, the slipper on this Cinderella needs to be a stripper heel, not a ballet flat. Fanning is a great actress but she can’t hold a candle to the racy image of Miley, or Taylor for that matter. Because of this she falls short. Let’s be honest acting talent has nothing to do with your Jailbait Queen status, how else do you think Miley got there?

I thought about trying to find a Disney starlet, cause after all that’s how Miley got her fame. I did some poking around and I found someone who may fit the bill. Let’s give her the test.

Her name is Selena Gomez. She’s gorgeous. She’s young and she likes wearing a bikini. Sounds like a match made in heaven. My favorite part though, she used to be on Barney. That’s right, the Big Purple dinosaur. My friends, we might have found the next Jailbait Queen, or did we?

Selena is in a musical act, it’s called Selena Gomez and the Scene. Judging by the small clip Wikipedia offers on her page, the band is absolutely terrible, but apparently they did have a gold record back in March. You have to wonder if she isn’t taking advantage of the Disney Media Machine the same way Miley and her camp did. Judging by the fact that Selena Gomez and the Scene are set to release their sophomore album in Septermber, I say she is taking full advantage. Just like Miley she is a “musician” and a byproduct of excellent Disney marketing.

I think what Selena brings to the table is her sense of entrepreneurship. She is the head of her own production company that allows her to hire writers, option articles and create talent packages to shop to studios. So basically it sounds like she’s playing Eric from Entourage.

If you ask me, that’s a pretty sweet gig for a sixteen year old who already has money to burn. She has also created her own fashion line called “Dream Out Loud”. It doesn’t seem that the clothes have landed in stores yet, but you’d have to imagine it would be similar to Miley’s exclusive deal with Wal-Mart.

Also, where as Dakota Fanning has been nominated for a SAG award, Selena has won an Emmy. She shares the Emmy with the entire cast of Wizards of Waverly Place, a hit Disney TV show. Sound familiar?Which of the two is more prestigious? I’m not saying that Selena is packing the acting chops that Dakota has proven to have, I’m simply saying that Selena is well on he way into finding her own voice.

She has two movies set to come out soon, "Ramona and Beezus", based off the children’s books series “Ramona”, in which she plays Beezus. Then she has "Monte Carlo", which I’m semi looking forward to. The cast includes Katie Cassidy (sex) and Leighton Meester (sex, sex[NSFW]). It’s a romantic comedy that has the three of them posing as socialites in Monaco. It’s going to be bad, but there is no denying those girls are smoking.

However, Selena isn’t ready to take things to that next level. Evidence, is that purity ring on her finger. That’s going to be a hindrance to her becoming the next Queen. She should just throw that thing in the ocean and embrace her true calling. She’s certainly cute enough to be the next Jailbait Queen, but is she racy enough...probably not.

In trying to find my Damsel in Distress I took a long look around the Internet . I found it chock full of worthy candidates. In fact, some of the ones I investigated turned out to be over eighteen, which is just no fun, flat out. They included the following:

First, Bristol “The Pistol” Palin(on the left). Imagine that for a second, a potential first daughter of Jailbait. I mean when was the last time there was a good-looking girl in the White House. Was it Chelesa Clinton? I don’t think so. I don’t think either Obama girl is line for the Jailbait throne either. Bristol Palin could’ve been our last chance at someone, who wasn’t married, getting a blowjob in the Oval Office. Levi Johnston would immediately be on my “I Hate This Famous For No Reason Asshole” list. However, this tale ends sadly due to Bristol’s nutso mother. Sarah Palin should not be anywhere near Washington, D.C. ever. Also Bristol, as previously mentioned, is too old.

The other overage girl to come across my travels was Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s little sister. Looks like Big Sis passed on the whore genes as Jamie Lynn is most noted for gettingpregnant at sixteen. Now that’s the kind of scandal we want for the Jailbait Queen. Even better, she was on a hit Nick show that could’ve put her on that Miley level. However, she was responsible and took time off from the show to care for her baby. As far as I know, she’s managed to stay out of the limelight as well. That’s no fun. Instead of going to the Jailbait Ball, she stayed home to wash her hair.

I just don’t think Miley can be topped. Young Hollywood is starting to get less trashy, which is good for business, but bad for creeps like me. Miley was the last great hope. I’ll still be a big Miley fan when she turns eighteen, I will just hate that there will be no young girl to take her presence. We need someone racy. We need someone semi-sexy. We need someone who can sell records and movies just by showing up.

For a while there was Britney Spears, she redefined the title of Jailbait. Then Lindsay Lohancame along, and then the torch was handed to Miley. Let’s hope she follows in the footsteps of those two great former Jaiblati Queens and is making out with girls and flashing her naughty bits everywhere in a few years.

If she doesn’t, we have 138 days to find us a new Queen. God speed, America.

Toy Story 3 Review

Pixar Still Has a Friend In Me

Last night, I went to see the midnight release of Toy Story 3. I opted for the mighty wonder of I-Max 3D to guide me through two hours with my favorite toys. The tickets were over priced, coming in at fifteen dollars a pop. The theater was packed to the point my friend and I contemplated splitting up and sitting separate. To top it all off, the copy of the movie we were shown had at least one glitch in it and didn’t project in 3D.

These conditions could’ve easily made a movie crowd lose it’s cool. Hell, there could’ve been a full on revolt, people demanding their money back, throwing popcorn or ice. However there wasn’t any of that, well at least until after the movie.

The previews treated us to a new Zack Snyder movie about owls called Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole. Half the trailer was set to "Kings and Queens" by 30 Seconds to Mars, and featured what someone in the theater described as "nothing but cuteness". However the movie looks like it was geared towards the below twelve age range. However if the movie was using you know, real human, instead of these owls, it would probably peak my interest.

The second trailer we saw was for Tron: Leagacy. I don't know how this movie can be bad, 3D and I-Max sales will soar for this and Daft Punk is doing the musical score. AND it contains one of Special Ed's favorite actors of all time...The Dude. The auidence applauded this trailer, I don't know what that was about but whatever.

Toy Story 3 is a rather typical movie at this stage of the game. It’s Pixar and Disney, so you know what you’re going to get. There will a short animated “movie” before the actual movie begins, and of course this was no different. The short this time was entitled “Day and Night” it centered on two characters, one obviously Day and the other obviously Night. They were set against a black screen, and through their bodies you saw snips of scenes during the day and scenes at night.

One of the scenes took place in Las Vegas, where both Day and Night we're looking for strippers and cocaine. Just kidding in Vegas, Day impressed Night with the sounds of people winning jackpots and playing the various slot machines. Night looked very impressed until he stepped over Sin City and lit it up with neon lights and old time dance music. Day was very partial to this and took to dancing, a lot of dancing.

Another scene took place by the shore, for you non Jersey Shore go-ers that means beach. Day illuminated a scene of a woman sunbathing listening to a radio. She was blonde, had big boobs and was wearing a red bikini. Kinda looking like this. I think somewhere that’s called type casting. Either way, Night fell madly in love with her, however when he tried to step over to where she was the scene switched to night and revealed only her left behind trash.

The other noteworthy scene included Day trying to get night to go to a radio station to play dance music. While Day was dancing he backed over the radio tower and revealed a national radio address. Night talked him into staying on top of the tower so they could hear the rest. I cannot find the transcript of the address but it was about creativity and wonderful things that Pixar loves.

The short was very impressive and was a beautiful mix of both 2D and 3D technology. I was thoroughly impressed with it, after doubting it at first. However this was all just a warm up.

The Main Event of course was the film it’s self. I had been waiting eleven years for this particular film (that’s longer then I waited for Dark Knight mind up) and right away the film delivers.

Toy Story 3 starts off with a bang. You’re treated to a scene that brings together elements of the first two movies. Evil Dr. Porkchop and One Eyed Bart have teamed up again and this time they are going to take it to Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye and Rex, “who eats force field dogs”. While this scene is going on, the viewer wonders why they are recycling a “storyline” from the first films, when suddenly the credits kick in and play over an old VHS type recording of Andy playing with his toys. The credits are of course set to the popular “You’ve Got a Friend In Me” recording done by Randy Newman.

A few minutes into the movie and the crowd was already tearing up. I don’t want to give too much away but this movie played perfectly to its crowd. It connected more to the first movie then the second in my opinion, which is a good thing. It played perfectly to recent graduates, whether it be grade school or high school, as the message behind the movie is of course something along the lines of sticking together and not forgetting who you are/who your friends are.

The folks at Pixar introduce us to new characters in this one, there’s Big Baby, Lot’s O-Huggin Bear (but you can call him Lots’O), Chuckles, Dolly, Trixie and probably the “star” of the movie Ken (voiced by Michael Keaton of all people). Ken and Barbie of course end up getting together in the long run, but not before their relationship hits a few rough patches, such as angry toys, toddlers, glitter.

At one point Pixar launches into a full on spoof of “Cool Hand Luke”. The scene revolves around Buzz giving the rules of the Caterpillar Room at Sunside Daycare to his prisoners (Hamm, the Potato Heads, Rex, Jessie and Bullseye) Just remember to be back in your bunk, or you spend the night in the Box.

Let’s be honest, it was sad. I talked to a friend who said he was tearing up, especially at the end. The folks at Pixar really take you on an emotional rollercoaster. Why not though, that’s what we love and that’s what they do so well. Anyone going off to college in the fall will love this movie, as it literally takes place three days before Andy (now 17) heads off to school. Perhaps though it’s the toys that teach us the best lesson in the film, stick together as a family, as friends, and nothing is truly impossible.

After the movie, the crowd wasn’t happy about the lack of 3D. Given the current ticket price of 3D movies, who the hell can blame them. But the fine people of Neshaminy 24 theaters made nice and gave everyone in my theater a free movie voucher. It’s unlimited, meaning I can see any movie with it. Well done Nesh, well done.

Overall, I give it an A-. Pixar delivers once again. That's to be expected at this point.

If you're like me, as soon as you heard that Special Ed was opening up his blog to contributors, you began thinking, "Hmm...I wonder when the first disagreement between contributors will take place." Well sports fans, you didn't have to wait long.

Welcome to "In Defense Of" where I will try to step up to the plate for those who were unable to step up for themselves. Today's subject is none other then comedian Aziz Ansari, you might know him better as Tom Haverford from NBC's Parks and Recreation, or as RAAAAAAAAANDY from Adam Sandler's Funny People or as Saddamn from Obersve and Report, or as Azia Ansari from his stand up routines, which have been featured prominently on Comedy Central, or from his SMASH MTV Show Human Giant. Oh and he's hosting this thing called the MTV Movie Awards this coming Sunday, some of you may have heard of it.

If you head The Hoffbeast's article last week entitled "Who IS that Asshole? vol 1." you'll know that Aziz himself was on that list, directly behind preteen sensation Justin Bieber. However in that article The Hoffbeast didn't mention Aziz's apperance on his own sketch comedy show, didn't mention his stand up special that has aired on Comedy Central, and lastly didn't mention him hosting the MTV Movie Awards. Mainly the Hoff pointed to his "scene-hijacking moments" in both Funny People and Observe and Report, as proof that he belongs on the WITA list. I whole heartily disagree. I believe that The Hoffbeast is more in the wrong then Jim Joyce on this one.

First, let's start with Observe and Report, which stars Seth Rogen (40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Funny People, Pineapple Express, Freaks and Geeks, etc.) I've seen this film, it's terrible. Stay away at all costs. I would rather have H1N1 then ever see more then five minutes of that movie ever again. Even Anna Faris almost nude couldn't save this piece of shit, that's how you know it's bad folks. But do you know what did save it? You might have guessed it...this guy.

In O&R, Aziz plays Saddamn, a lotion salesman in the mall that Rogen protects. You've been in a mall before, I assume. You know the kind of slimy fucks that take this job. They are usually foreigners who can't speak English properly and use their "position of power" to rub lotion all over unsuspecting female customers. They claim shit like this lotion exfoliates, and that it will clear pimples, or some shit. I don't know, I'm a man. I've never had someone rub lotion on me at a mall, normally, for me at least, that behavior goes on behind closed door, or at least a privacy partition at the local massage parlor.

Either way, back to the point, Ronnie (Fat Rogen) thinks that Saddman robbed the Shoe Store in the mall. With the help of Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), Saddman is interrogated. Saddman it turns out has been the brunt of Ronnie's crazy theories for a while now. Ronnie even suspected Saddman to be plotting to blow up Chick-Fil-A, the beloved fast food chicken themed restaurant. Oh the humanity!

Now where as Hoff sees this as Aziz stealing the movie from Fat Rogen, I see it as Aziz saving the movie from being a total waste of time and moving it into the epic waste of time category. Without this scene the movie would have had almost NO funny parts. Rogen should be thanking Aziz every time the two pass in LA, NYC, or any other location. Honestly, this movie was proof that without a solid group of supports Rogen falls right on his face. I don't consider Aziz a supporter due to the fact that I believe he has under ten minutes in the film. Check out the scene here. It's funny, from "Cover your little breasts with some BUBBBLES," to "My dick is brown you dumb motherfucker," to "Why the fuck would I blow up Chick-Fil-A, it's fucking delicious." Even the silent "Fuck You" battle at the end of the clip is semi funny.

Hoffbeast, have you seen Obersve and Report, did you wanna claw your eyes out of your head like me? I'll be honest with everyone here on the Internets, Aziz is the only thing that kept me entertained. Again he saves this film.

Secondly, the Hoffbeast mentioned Funny People. Before I get into defending Aziz's performance in this movie let me say something: the use of "Photograph" by Ringo Starr in the trailer for this movie is amazing. Now back to defending my boy, I'm not even going to say anything about Funny People. Raaaandy's character was funny, but he wasn't the main point of the movie. The movie it's self bounced around from good to bad, to bad to good and almost everywhere in between. For a movie entitled Funny People at times it wasn't too funny. However the best thing to be born from that Judd Apatow pile of crap is of course Aziz's character RAAAAAAAANDY.

The character of RAAAANDY has taken on a new life, even launching a website for himself. Make sure you're speakers are on (not at work, of course) for a better experience in viewing the site. Aziz is trying to really develop the character, especially now that a RAAAAANDY "spin off" movie has been green lighted. I did some reading up on Aziz's RAAAAANDY and found out that he's supposed to parody Dane Cook and some other mainstream comedians, I think he pulls that off excellently. He's the comedian that's too funny to hate, but you should hate him. If you've never seen it, go watch his documentary about RAAAAAANDY, on the website linked above.

However the best part about RAAAANDY and probably the funniest, is his beef with the other WITA, teen heartthrob Justin Bieber. Here's the video. In it RAAAANDY claims to have written a song called, "Baby, Baby" while Bieber sat in the background and smoked all RAAANDY and his crews pot. Then Bieber stole the lyrics, stole the beat, shot RAAAANDY in the leg and released his song "Baby". Honestly, are you going to tell me that isn't funny? You're trying to sell me that Aziz isn't funny, yet here he is posting a video on Funny or Die that has around 900,000 hits? That's probably as many hits as Hayley Williams' boobs got over the weekend.

Basically Aziz took his success from Funny People and hit the ground running with it. In addition to the full length feature that was greenlighted, RAAAANDY should soon have a "mixtape" out as well. You can download tracks from it, right here, actually. Give it a listen.

In addition Aziz didn't need the help of Judd Apatow to make it big. Sure, it probably didn't hurt him Hoff, but he was well on is way as he was a star on Human Giant, the MTV sketch comedy show. On it he did things like pretending to be a rollerblader and having to tell his parents he was gay (here) and pretending to be a little girl in order to catch a predator (here)

The show was such a hit that fans have been asking for a Third Season for quite some time, but due to conflicting schedules (Aziz and Parks and Recreation, and Paul Scheer's work on The League) the Third Season has been delayed/postponed/whatever. There is a rumor that the three cast mates will be doing something Sunday at the MTV Movie Awards, but who knows.

Closing this point out, how can you say that Aziz is reliant on Judd Apatow, riding his wave of success when HG proves that he can make it on his own. It proves he doesn't need any famous director holding his hand? Quite honestly, I don't think you can.

It's not that I'm angry with the Hoffbeast. Oh hell no, I love his work here on the blog and he's a really cool dude (from all that Special Ed tells me) it's that I happen to think that Aziz is an up and coming star in not only the Televison world, on Parks and Recreation, but also in the Movie world.

I didn't even really get into his stand up special, but I think his bit on Coldstone, speaks for it's self.

In closing, Aziz is not an asshole. His character RAAAAANDY might be, but Aziz himself has worked his ass off to get where he is and he deserves all of your time and attention. Make sure to watch THIS SUNDAY!!! when he hosts the MTV Movie Awards, because apparently they're still trying to relevant.

A stop over...

Obama apparently has a "gift" when it comes to make speeches. Senator Reid, the majority leader in the Senate, once told Barack he had made a good speech. Obama instead of being the modest person we know he is told Harry Reid that he had a "gift".

To me that's not news, put people are giving it news coverage. Must've been a slow day.

There's more pressing matters on the docket though for this update of Blogging Barrack, yes I know it's spelt wrong.

1. 91 protestors have been documented at the White House. They chained themselves to the fence, some of them were in Wheelchairs. Police were said to have used bolt cutters to remove some of the protestors. These guys were protesting legislation to give people with long term disabilities alternatives to nursing homes which I'm all for. But is chaining yourself to the White House really the proper way to send that message?

2. Swine Flu. The word on the street is that my brother may have it. I'll keep everyone updated on that. We survived this thing fine in the 70s and I think we'll make it through now. We just gotta keep our wits about us.

That's all I really got for today. No major Obama bashing...sorry.

Wow...this administration of Barack Obama just keeps getting better and better. I somehow missed this news story and I apologize for that. Here it is none the less...this one (WARNING!) will shock you.

Nancy Pelosi, the Queen of the Damned (no offense to Anne Rice!) , was caught speaking at a church in her home state of California a few days back. She was speaking to a crowd of illegal and legal immigrations. Now I know what you're thinking..."Hey J, isn't illegal immigration...ya know illegal?" Well friends just here me out on this one.

The Wicked Witch of the West Pelosi said that it was un American to enforce illegal immigration laws.

Are you f***ing kidding me? Honestly we just had to have a president pardon two Border Patrol agents because they attempted to protect our borders and shot an illegal who was trying to move drugs into the Southwest. Yet it's illegal to enforce immigration policy. Tell that to their families. Tell that to the countless out of work Americans who lost their construction jobs (HI DAD!!) and other forms of work to illegal immigrants in this country. It's the biggest mess of political BS I have ever seen.

Don't even feed me all that stuff about us all being immigrants. My great, great, great grandparents came over to this country. They got naked at Ellis Island or wherever they came into and they got checked for every kind of disease you can possible imagine. Think about it...TB, they caught it. Chicken pox, they would catch it. The doctors at these places were making sure a pandemic wouldn't break out in the states.

Then my Irish ancestors and Italian ancestors went through periods with no work and "Need not apply" signs hung high in the windows. They suffered through it. They didn't start peddling drugs, or anything like that. And most importantly they registered. They were paying taxes, they voted, they were part of this machine that we call America.

The new breed of immigrants aren't here for any of that. They barely speak English (infuriates me to no end), they aren't familiar with our customs, they don't make an effort to be part of America. They cross in the night illegally into this country, or row, row, row their boats into Florida. They take our jobs and the Speaker of the House doesn't want to enforce policy, and law on these people. Can we just kick her out of DC now?

She said that we should end the policy of "kicking in doors in the middle of the night". Hey Speaker Lady, I don't know what you're being told, but guess what...it's how you catch criminals. You don't write them a letter, all nice and neat, put your stamp on it and say Mr. Flores I am coming to arrest you for being in our country illegally.

These immigrants are off the grid, they aren't working in our parameters so we need to work in the best way we can. We take a lead. We bounce on it. Nancy, if you want to bring up something else, then by all means knock your socks off but until then we'll stick with what works.

This video I think sums up my thoughts on illegal immigration perfectly...I'm so disgusted I can't write anymore.

Drunk With Bob - What If They Stole Your Springsteen Tickets

Shaking my head...

So let's get this straight. Instead of taking care of matters of oh let's say foreign policy, or the economic recession that we've landed ourselves in, Obama would rather makes his NCAA picks on a special on Sportscenter.

Really people say what you want but they toted out a six by six white board and he scribbled on it, giving his remarks for each team. I don't care if he things that the University of North Carolina can score more baskets then the University of Pittsburgh. If anything I would pick against him, I mean the past few months Obama hasn't been right on a lot of things has he?

After all it was he who ultimately signed the Stimulus Bill into law, which allowed the AIG losers to get their bonuses. You know maybe it's just the common sense in me, but had the American people and Congress had time to read that mega waste of time perhaps they would've spotted Dodd's little add in that allowed AIG to claim these bonuses.

But enough about AIG, because really it's just one big smokescreen for everything else that is going on in our country. How bout the Federal Reserve just printing more money, you're dollar being worth about four cents right now...how's that for a smokescreen. Did anyone else catch that? It should be noted that gold spiked to the highest price in months when the Fed did this. Do not go to those collect your gold and re-sell it places, go to a dealer and cash in. This might be the only boom Obama brings to this economy in a long while.

Bareny Fife, don't even get me started on him. I don't have enough time or energey to state my opinon on that scum ball.

But back to Barack, he's the president. That isn't a five day, forty hour a week job. No you're elected and you're on call three hundred and sixty five days, twenty four hours a day, and seven days a week. It's just the way it is. So why the hell did Obama go and sit on the Tonight Show?

On one side it's nice to see someone so plugged into the system.

On the other side he made fun of Special Olympians.

I have a family friend who has competed and suceeded in the Special Olympics, and say that you want but one thing these kids and people have is heart. For a president to insult them is disheartening.

If George Bush would've said that (which he wouldn't have) people would've hung him out to dry in every major media outlet available to them. But since Barack did it we're supposed to wipe it all under the rug.

No. I refuse. That's some messed up logic.

Hey, don't blame me America. I didn't vote for that genius. I voted for John McCain. McCain wouldn't have sent money to AIG so they could pay off their oversea debts totalling in the hundreds of millions. McCain wouldn't have insutled an already broken down subsect of America. McCain would still be in this financial mess, but he'd be dealing with it a little different.

But hey...hope and change right.

Hope and change America.

It's Been A While...

Faithful readership (if there are any of you still out there) I am back. Sorry about the lull in activity for a little bit my work schedule got out of hand, I was sick, I was away. A million reasons as to why the world's most successful untalked about blog was at a stand still. Rest assured I am now here and furthermore now re-dedicated to making "Blogging Barrack" a great place.

I've thought long and hard about it and I still have a rough time believing that Barack is our president. My personal dislike of his Cape Cod elitist attitude, and his arrogant nose up turned self esteem aside, it just is unbelievable (in a good way) that this country could lay race down and vote a black man into office.

I must however stop there and remind everyone that Barack Obama won with about 53% of the popular vote in 2008. To put that number in prosepctive, when Bush "narrowly" defeated Kerry in the election of 2004, he won with 51% of the popular vote. I fail to see where those 2 precentage points make the difference between "Country united" in 2008, and "Country divded" in 2004.

If someone could make me see that, or help me understand I would appericate it.

But back to Barack. He's a great oreator of that there is simply no doubt. He has a way to energize and excite those around him, particularly young people. Good for him. Or is it?

Did you know that the head of Barack Obama's campaign was one of the co founder's of Facebook? I mean when you have someone like that on the pay roll, young people should just fall in line.

Think about it, you know excatly the trends that are big. You're facebook group is the way you contact the most people. In the course of a few months Barack and his team rewrote the campaign running books, for better or worse.

I cannot believe all of this happened, in the manner in which it did. It still causes me to shake my head.

I get into the situation where I began to wonder "Oh but what if!"

What if:
-The Republicans had a stronger canidate.
-The Republicans hadn't faltered to mention key issues in cities that needed them.
-John McCain wouldn't have picked Sarah Palin, but rather Roomney or Huckabee.
-Hiliary Clinton would've gotten the Democratic nomination.

No matter how you spin it we will never know. History didn't fall that way. Instead here we are with a trillion dollars being made out of thin air. That can't be a good thing.

I hope the current times find you all in good health, with a job and with a support group of family and friends. For those of you with an ideology such as mine, keep your chins high but prepare for what could be a roller coaster ride of Biblical proportions. For those of you who oppose my color (red) and my direction (right) enjoy YOUR canidate.

Hope and change...hope and change.